your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think I died a long time ago.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
