I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Someone came in the potted fern
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bring me that man meat
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
