census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize