I think I died a long time ago.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
