What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Houston, we have a squirter
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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