you win again, gameday.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
