i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
