worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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