We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
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ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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