this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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