I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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