yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
