is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
