This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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