Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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