oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
