OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
