I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
