We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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