let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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