Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
