the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
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I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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