Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize