you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
