I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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