is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
