I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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