I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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