So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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