have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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