I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
