Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
