My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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