i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize