Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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