I'm sorry my penis didn't work
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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