I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
