So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
