the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Liz is crying about burritos again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
