What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
