I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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