I bet he comes in French.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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