her vagine was all disorganized.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
