Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
