the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
false alarm, still single
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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