Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
