the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
smell my finger.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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