She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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