Sponge bath it is.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
