awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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