Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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