do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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