Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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