Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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