Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
