I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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