mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
