i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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