When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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