i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
